Gentleness

“But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.” 1 Timothy 6:11 (ESV).

Growing up I lived in a small trailer situated on a sketchy dirt road, with neighbors of uncertain repute. I had wonderful, loving parents who I still adore and appreciate today. However, my family unit did experience more tumultuous days than peaceful ones. Unresolved trauma has a way of disrupting relationships, and my childhood was a testament to that fact. As a result of the environment, I was forced to adapt to my surroundings. Consequently, being impulsive, hot-tempered, and rebellious became my way of life.

Gentleness was never on my radar, as the appearance of being tough and unmoveable left no room for such frivolous qualities. I persistently pursued the illusion of myself becoming an impenetrable fortress. No one could get close enough to hurt me if I became stronger, more intimidating, a force to be reckoned with.

After a season of heartbreak in my life, I was left with wounds that I knew if left untreated, would lead me down a path I wouldn’t want to travel. The journey before me was one of bitterness, fear, anger, and frustration.

What had “worked” in the past in terms of coping mechanisms, was suddenly failing me, and I was left utterly hopeless without the proper tools in hand. I quickly realized and determined that this was not going to be my future, nor was it going to be the legacy that I left for my children.

Daily, I began to pray and declare Ezekiel 36:26 over my life.

“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. “

 I built many altars in that season of my life. Many would be constructed with tears streaming down my face, a wounded heart, and a broken spirit. Repentance was at the foundation of many of those altars, as God revealed to me that I was living a life filled with pride.

Repentance was at the foundation of many of those altars, as God revealed to me that I was living a life filled with pride.

Caitlin Walker

I believed only in my strength and abilities, thus distancing myself from God as I unsuccessfully attempted to take His rightful place in my heart.

Through years of building new pathways, healing, and restoration, I have determined that being gentle and meek is not a weakness, but rather a strength. It requires incredible humility to recognize God as God, and to live your life knowing that He is in control.

What opportunities could we be missing out on because of our fear of being vulnerable in the sight of others and God? I’ve had to relentlessly remind myself of God’s mercy in those moments when fear attempts to sneak its way back into my life. Gentleness is often birthed in moments of despair, and so it can be tempting to ignore. In doing so, we do ourselves a great disservice.

Through years of building new pathways, healing, and restoration, I have determined that being gentle and meek is not a weakness, but rather a strength.

Caitlin Walker

Our gentle God is beckoning you to cross the threshold between insecurity and true freedom. He calls out in a gentle whisper, urging you to lay down every weight, every unhealthy coping mechanism, and every thought pattern that is contrary to His character.

Just on the other side, is a God who doesn’t take advantage of a gentle and humble spirit, but who can do some amazing work with those qualities.