“No man is an island” is not just another cliché; it is a principle that we can find in the Scripture, “For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself” (Romans 14:7). No matter how we isolate ourselves from the crowd, other people inevitably influence us – our thinking, behaviour and attitude.
Who we become can be determined by the books we read, the music we hear and the people to whom we give power to surround us and speak to our lives.
Raymart Lugue
Who we become can be determined by the books we read, the music we hear and the people to whom we give power to surround us and speak to our lives. Lee Stoneking observed, “The thing you give yourself to is the thing that you become. If you give yourself to clowning, you will become a clown. If you give yourself to athletics, you will become an athlete. But if you give yourself to the things of God, you will become like Him.” Exposure to certain things and people truly affects our destiny.
The Bible also affirms the point that we are trying to prove. In Proverbs 13:20, Solomon observed, “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise.” Paul also warned the Corinthians, “Be not deceived: evil communications [companionship] corrupt good manners” (I Corinthians 15:33).
The following are the types of friends which I propose we need to surround ourselves with:
1. Barnabas – an Encourager
Barnabas, fondly nicknamed as “Son of Encouragement,” was a prominent early church leader who had an impact in the ministry of Paul. When Paul arrived in Jerusalem, the followers of Jesus Christ were afraid of him, making his first attempt to join the “Christians” a failure. It was a discouraging incident. Nevertheless, Barnabas helped him by taking him to the apostles and persuading them about the validity of Saul’s conversion.
When the church in Antioch started to grow tremendously, Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Paul. When he had found him, he brought him to Antioch to disciple the people for a year. Barnabas undoubtedly believed that Paul can accomplish the calling of God in his life. He had enough faith in him and his encouragement became a pathway for Paul to launch his ministry.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your dreams. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Mark Twain
We need the ministry of Barnabas in the church today. We need encouragers who will cheer us up when others are trying to belittle what we can do for God. Mark Twain advised, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your dreams. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
Pat Croce shares a funny story about a mule:
A motorist was driving down a lonely road when he blew a tire, skidded into a ditch and flipped his car upside down. He managed to get out of the car but knew that he was in the middle of nowhere.
About the time he was ready to panic, a farmer came down the road in a cart pulled by a blind mule named Gus. The farmer offered to have Gus pull the car out of the ditch.
The man was very sceptical because Gus the blind mule looked very weak and frail but he agreed anyway as he had no other options to get his car back on the road.
The farmer hitched Gus the blind mule to the car, cracked his whip in the air and yelled . . . “Yaa there Sam! Pull! Pull!”
The mule did not move.
The farmer cracked his whip again and yelled out, “Yaa there Jake! Pull! Pull!”
The mule did not move.
Once more the farmer cracked his whip and shouted, “Yaa there Gus! Pull! Pull!”
And at that moment, Gus dug in his scrawny hind legs, pushed through the dirt, and surged forward.
Soon enough the car turned right side up and came rolling out of the ditch and back on the road. The motorist was shocked, appreciative, and curious. He asked the farmer why he called out all those other names.
The farmer simply replied that Gus is blind and if he thought it was just up to him alone to pull that car out of the ditch, he wouldn’t have even tried. But, when he thought he had the help and support of others, he was much stronger than he even knew he could be.
Oh, what strength our friends can give if we know that they are around to encourage us!
2. Jonathan – a Protector
Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself of the outer robe that he was wearing and gave it to David, with his armour, including his sword, his bow, and his belt (I Samuel 18:3–4, AMP).
David “was accepted in the sight of all the people” (I Samuel 18:5a). All Israel and Judah loved him because he was so successful in leading the troops in their campaigns. Nevertheless, there were two types of people as David gradually stepped into the will of God for his life: (1) the one who envied him (Saul) and (2) the one who made a vow to protect him and the calling of God in his life (Jonathan).
As we fulfil the purposes of God in our lives and ministry, there are people who will either cheer for us or get envious of our accomplishments. Those who envy us have a tendency to distract us from our ministry, and it is, therefore, wise to stay away from them. On the other hand, we need Jonathans who are willing to sacrifice their resources just to protect us until we end up in the place where God wants us to be.
3. Jesus – a Corrector
Jesus was more than a Rabbi to Peter; He was his friend. He fulfilled this important role in Peter’s life when he said, “Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men” (Mark 8:33).
What a shocking moment! The apostle’s only intention was to protect his Master from the impending danger, but what he received in return was a rebuke in front of all the disciples! Jesus bluntly identified who was behind Peter’s speech – Satan.
Before we go any further, let’s clarify what the verse really means. Some people believe that Jesus was talking to Satan when he said the words, “Get thee behind me, Satan.” However, the Bible is clear that He rebuked Peter. Mentioning Satan was only a way for Christ to identify the spirit that was behind Peter’s reaction to a prophecy concerning His death, not to mention that the same spirit was also trying to alter God’s plan of salvation through the impending death, burial and resurrection of the Messiah.
In the ministry, there will be times that we think we are right. Solomon revealed this deception when he wrote, “All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes” (Proverbs 16:2a). Nevertheless, “there is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death” (Proverbs 14:12).
The last time I checked, God is still the only omniscient (all-knowing) Being in heaven and earth. It doesn’t matter how many books we had already read and how many diplomas are hanging on our walls, we will never be in a place where we know everything.
We need to be surrounded with people who will tell us what we need to hear, not what we want to hear.
Raymart Lugue
There is a blind spot in every ministry and we need people who can bluntly tell us what “thus saith the Lord.” We need to be surrounded with people who will tell us what we need to hear, not what we want to hear.
4. Judas – a Thorn in the Flesh
It is interesting how Jesus called Judas a friend in spite of knowing that he just betrayed Him. Why did He call someone who was trying to protect him Satan and called a betrayer His friend?
Such an incident is a reminder to us that anyone who is hindering us from fulfilling the call of God in our lives is not a friend, but an enemy. On the other hand, no matter how painful or discouraging it is, those whom God appoints to be a stepping stone towards the fulfilment of His plans for us are not enemies, but friends. It may come in the form of a betrayal, an offense or a disappointment, but everyone and everything that helps us to be in the place where we ought to be is not from our enemies but from God Himself.
In the Book of Jonah . . . in the original language, it doesn’t say God caused a fish to swallow Jonah. It says God appointed the fish to swallow Jonah . . . God [also] appointed the plant. And God appointed the worm. And God appointed the east wind. The same word used of God’s appointing the Levites, His holy ministers, is used of the fish, the plant, the worm, and the wind . . . for the child of God, everything, the good, the bad, the joys, the sorrows . . . the rejections, the losses . . . all things are appointed. Each is an appointed minister ordained to bring about God’s purposes, God’s blessings, God’s calling and destiny in your life.
Jesus, as a man, was hurt by the betrayal of his friend, Judas. But He needed a friend like him – a friend who caused Him to be in the place where He ought to be.
Conclusion
A person is a sum of everything he has experienced. He is a product of other people from yesterday as well as the present. Those who are closest to us – people whom we give permission to influence our lives – will either increase or decrease the impact of our ministry.
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